How Technology Shapes Our Children: A Middle School Perspective

As technology becomes increasingly embedded in everyday life, schools and parents alike are grappling with one key question: how do we support healthy development in a digital age? 

At a recent SHIELD (Social Health Initiative for Early Life Development, a parent discussion group) meeting, Middle School guide Emily Dowell shared her experiences and research-based reflections on how technology and social media impact adolescents—and what we can do about it.

Understanding the Adolescent Brain

Middle schoolers are in a critical stage of development—socially, emotionally, and neurologically. They're forming their identities, learning to navigate complex social relationships, and becoming more independent. At the same time, their brains are undergoing significant rewiring. The limbic system, which governs emotion and risk-taking, is developing faster than the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for judgment and impulse control. This makes adolescents more likely to engage in risky behaviors, particularly in peer groups.

Because of this, Emily emphasized the importance of face-to-face interactions, hands-on learning, and sensorimotor experiences. These help adolescents connect with their bodies, reflect on their mistakes, and grow from real-life experiences.

The Role of Technology and Social Media

Social media platforms—like TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, and Instagram—are specifically designed to be addictive, exploiting the adolescent brain’s natural craving for feedback and novelty. Constant dopamine hits from likes, comments, and algorithm-driven content can lead to:

• Decreased attention spans

• Increased feelings of isolation or anxiety when feedback is lacking

• Reduced motivation for deeper, more meaningful social interactions

Emily likened social media to “simple carbs”—quick, satisfying, but ultimately not nourishing—compared to the “complex carbs” of in-person relationships that take more effort but are far more sustaining.

Smartphone Use at MST

In Middle School Eucalyptus, phones are kept locked away during the day. Despite this, challenges persist. While some students use their phones for games, many are engaged with social media, often for extended hours. This heavy usage has serious consequences:

• Students are more likely to communicate online than in person—even with peers sitting beside them.

• Mistakes made online can have lasting consequences, including disciplinary actions or scholarship losses.

• For boys, increased gaming and online pornography use are contributing to social withdrawal and decreased willingness to take healthy social risks, like making new friends or asking someone out.

  
  

A Phone-Free Experiment In Middle School

To explore life without smartphones, 15 students volunteered for a week-long challenge with 9 following through. Many participants found alternative ways to stay entertained—reading, baking, even enjoying more in-depth conversations. Some were surprised at how quickly they had abandoned offline activities they once loved. Afterward, several reported feeling less anxious and more connected.

A few students even expressed interest in giving up social media next, citing better group dynamics and genuine connection—particularly in extracurricular activities like Dungeons & Dragons.

Current Student Trends and Pressures

According to Emily:

• Nearly 100% of students have smartphones, though only around 15% aren’t using social media.

• Students without SNS often face peer pressure or feel excluded—especially in social settings outside the school community where technology guidelines are looser.

• Parents who regulate tech use may find their children struggling to fit in at sports events or social outings where digital connection is the norm.

  
  

Emily noted that MST students, grounded in Montessori principles, tend to show more resilience against peer pressure and have stronger self-awareness. But the digital divide is becoming more pronounced, especially between families who have the time and resources to engage thoughtfully with these issues and those who don’t.

Emily’s Recommendations

Emily supports a firm stance on technology:

• No smartphones until at least age 16

• Use of tech (like tablets and laptops) only in communal spaces

• Simple phones with texting and call features for safety and family communication

She also encouraged the community to consider how tech use aligns with MST’s philosophy—emphasizing real-world, hands-on learning and social development.

New Elementary and Middle School Tech Policy

In light of these insights, MST is proposing a unified policy for both Elementary and Middle School. This includes:

• Discouraging the use of devices with access to games, SNS, or YouTube

• Asking families not to allow their children to create social media accounts until after Middle School

• Requiring a completed MST Cell Phone & Social Media Contract before students bring any device to school

  
  

Supporting Our Children Together

Navigating technology in the modern world is not easy—but by working together, parents and educators can help our children grow into thoughtful, emotionally balanced, and socially connected individuals. Let’s keep the conversation going. You can join SHIELD through the WhatsApp parent groups.

–Wind Edward Kim, from notes provided by Vincent Valdemann, Willow and Ginkgo Parent